just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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