WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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