The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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