i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
