I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize
