it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize