Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
