and i looked up. we had an audience...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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