Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My life is pants optional.
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