anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
