garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
false alarm, still single
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
