i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
