Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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