More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
