There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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