Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
