you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
