I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
