I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
