I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
