I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
