im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
