Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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