That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize