I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize