Just fell off a train. Bad.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
