He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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