one might say we're banned from that church
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
