oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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