Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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