I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It's Friday. Sex?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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