Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
