I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
