woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
A+ Viking dick
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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