Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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