Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
