Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
