he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
