We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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