yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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