As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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