Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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