dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
