dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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