that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
