the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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