Sponge bath it is.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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