Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
