Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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