dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
