Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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