you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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