i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we made out on top of his cat.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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