Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
