We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
