Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
