idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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