i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
