you're like a bully in the Christmas story
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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